In the ever-evolving theater of "things you didn't know you needed but suddenly desperately crave," breaking pseudo-tactical news has just dropped like a smoke grenade in a quiet library. Bad Moon Armory's popular Flaskbangs, forged in the crucible of collaboration with the esteemed tacti-pundits at Breach-Bang-Clear, have burst back onto the civilian market! And this time, they’ve doubled down on seriousness, arriving in two shades of "don't mess with my flask": OD Green and Black. Whether your mission is to stay inebriated or simply to make people question your life choices, these coveted containers are, once again, ready for deployment.

This ain't no flashbang, folks, though it does bear a striking resemblance to something you'd see in a video game. Instead of disorienting your enemies, this bad boy is a food-safe, phenolic-lined, metal flask designed to be your trusty sidekick for all your liquid courage needs. Sure, 2.7 ounces (or 80ml for our friends who prefer the superior metric system) might not seem like much, but remember, it's not about the size of the pour, it's about the sheer, unadulterated intent behind it. So go forth and conquer, one tiny, potent sip at a time!

For the blessedly uninitiated (and honestly, we envy your innocence), imagine if a sleek, a mil-spec flashbang, had a threesome with a custom flask that is also a double shot glass. The love child, dear friends, is the Flaskbang. It looks less like something you’d your drink from and more like something you’d use to clear a room before asking if anyone has seen your protein bar (the one that expired in 2014, naturally).

The triumphant return of the OD Green and Black variants has sent ripples through the tactical fashion world, causing what can only be described as a small-scale renaissance of questionable taste. The OD Green model, a true chameleon, pairs effortlessly with your genuine MOLLE gear, your bushcraft kit, or that single, unwashed green hoodie that has become a permanent fixture in your wardrobe. The black variant, on the other hand, doesn't just hold your favourite alcohol; it whispers "operator" with an undertone so nuanced it’s either lethally serious or lovingly ironic, depending entirely on the length and meticulous grooming of your beard.

Naturally, demand for these tactical flasks remains as unstable as a load-bearing wall after someone enthusiastically suggests, "Let's just open up the space here!" Past drops of the Flaskbang have vanished faster than your chances of strolling through airport security with one of these bad boys clipped to your carry-on. Which, rather smoothly, brings us to our next, extremely important public service announcement...

We do not recommend bringing your Flaskbang to the airport. We're not joking, even though the Flaskbang itself is a bit of a joke. Unless you genuinely enjoy the thrilling experience of long, unblinking chats in windowless rooms with people who don't smile and are intensely curious as to why your "beverage container" is shaped suspiciously like a percussion grenade, just don’t do it or bring it disassembled to show it is a harmless drink flask when asked. While this advisory might elicit a chuckle, finding your name on a no-fly list probably won't. And as a general life tip, exercising a modicum of caution when flaunting your Flaskbang in very public places might also save you from an impromptu, and likely dramatic, visit from your nearest friendly SWAT team. They tend to take a dim view of grenade-shaped flasks.

Don't walk, run! These bad boys are already 20% off, which means more drinks money for you! And if you're thinking of kitting out your whole squad, hit up Bad Moon Armory directly. They'll give you a deal so good, you'll be toasting "Skål" all the way to the bank.

This marvel of engineering is built so serve your preferred tipple; you'd half expect it to come with its own pin and a stern disclaimer about frag radius. Just try your absolute best not to confuse it with your actual field gear when you’re fumbling around in the dark. It’s hard to explain to your team why you just tried to chug a flashbang.

So, whether your preferred Saturday afternoon involves stalking imaginary elk in the misty wilds of your local park, meticulously reenacting hostage rescues in your meticulously curated backyard, or simply aiming to subtly (or not so subtly) flex on your co-workers with the sheer audacity of weaponized drink flask, the Flaskbang is definitively back.

Grab one in OD Green, black, or if you’re truly committed to the bit, snag both. Just remember to maybe, just maybe, skip the TSA checkpoint, and instead, sip your preferred adult beverage like whiskey, vodka, tequila, kvass, cachaça, sake, arak, or even a pre-mixed margarita—in peace and quiet. Your drink, your rules, just don't get arrested.